Dear Ira Glass,

How sad I am that I missed you today! You were so close, yet so far away. I wish you'd given me more advance notice, and I would have totally been there. Lunch was included? Why didn't you say so?

Have I ever told you how much I love you? It's true! You're an inspiration to me, and I look up to you very much. Besides you have that adorable little voice that just makes me get all giddy. But now I'm just getting off track.

What I wanted to say is, when are you going to hire me?

Love,
Mindy