Dear John Cusack,
We need to talk. I don't really like to lay blame on problems in my life on other people, but frankly, this is a situation where I think it is deserved. You are totally the reason that I am still single. Specially, your portrayal of Lloyd Dobbler in the classic movie, "Say Anything".
I'm sure this isn't the first time that this accusation has been laid on your shoulders, I mean, Lloyd is a fantastic character; The whole stereo above the head with "In Your Eyes" playing, still makes me mist up all these years later. But that is the problem, it is too perfect, too wonderful.
John Cusack you are much too much.
It doesn't help the matter that cool elements of your personality always shine through your characters, like Lloyd's favorite t-shirt, the London Calling one... I heard that was from your actual collection. Much like your other movies, you prefer to wear your own clothes, you like to have some input on the soundtracks (Grosse Pointe Blank, still a collection of music that makes my hair stand on end in happiness). I can't help but fall for it, hook, line and sinker.
Due to my Lloyd-lust, I've dated a series of dark and brooding types. You know the ones, prominent eye-brow ridges, a bit of a widow's peak/pompador thing going on, lots of dark clothing. But they are never you, Mr. Cusack, not quite charming enough to pull it off.
So, John, I'm writing this to say that I think I'm going to have to break up with you so that I can move on, and find myself a new man.
Besides, I've got a bit of a crush on Aiden from Sex and the City to nurture now, he likes the outdoors and fits in well in a city. I think we might get along a little better.
Hope all goes well for you. Sincerely,